Fling

i just could not believe what he was saying. he told me that i do not know how to flirt. moreover, he told me that i was not capable of having a fling with a guy. he was such a chauvinistic pig i almost scratched his eyes out. yes, i am a girl. it is not a big deal now for someone with boobs to play the field. he had such a medieval idea of guys and girls it makes me sick.

then he told me that i did not have the heart to do such things. i didn't know if i was going to be touched at what he said or totally pissed. i had no idea if it was a compliment. he would not explain it to me further. then he told me i was not headstrong. that got me riled up a little. i know i was acting childish, insisting on being able to do something that i have never really had much experience with. but this was my strength we were talking about. i started to feel berated.

then realization set in.

could he be...? no that is quite impossible.

i realized that he was not making any reference to our relationship... or whatever it is that we have right now.

maybe he really is...

because i suddenly realized that what we have is an affair of some sort. i can't find a word to better define our stand than a fling. i am flirting with him and him with me.

i just can't believe it...

that last thought has left me smiling.