i should have gone to bed an hour ago so i could get some rest before my early shift and yet i parked my ass right in front of the computer. i suddenly had the urge to write something down. i'm sorry blog, i know you've been really sad these past few months, you've been devoid of the dirt i used to serve. don't worry, you still are number one for me. that other account is all face value hon... believe me. hehe.
okay. seriously, i'm waiting. and most probably, this will become fruitless. because the longer i sit and type here, the more the nav bar thing on the side of this window gets smaller, the chances of anything else happening diminishes as well. ohwel. i should really start getting used to this, nothing has really changed. the what-ifs never really came true, so why start hoping now? i can be such a sissy at the most inconvenient times. i hate this. whining's not exactly my thing but i find myself doing more and more of it everyday. i think i'm starting to turn into a girl. ugh. why should this happen this late in the game?!
for weeks now the only kind of life that i've been living is work. work work work work work sleep. hahaha. i've always thought that working would give some semblance of purpose or structure in my life, but recently all that it's done to me is take my life hostage. don't get me wrong, i like what i do and i'm starting to warm up to the people i work with. but still... is getting more than enough monetarily really worth a life like this... or a lack of it for that matter?
i'm starting to become a recluse. i can't seem to get a hold of anyone lately. it's not that i'm not trying... i don't know. i don't even want to think about what could be wrong anymore. so, i've taken this opportunity to go back and do something i've always loved... reading! haha. don't think that i'm all for those bestseller books that are supposedly thought provoking, i don't think i could handle that much intellect right now, that will just stress me out more. so, i went out and bought a couple of chick lits. they're fun to read, very easy, and humorous most of the time. it's a brainless guilty pleasure... hmmm... i can't wait to get back to my books already.
if i'm just not tired all the time, i'd pick up the baking again. ohwel. i can't have everything. i think the world has driven that point home for me already.
i am going to sleep now. the only bad thing about reading chick lit is it turns you into a romantic... even if it's very impractical (let alone heartbreaking) to be one.
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*** pahiram lang ng catch phrase, ge.
